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How Can I Help My Children Deal With the Impact of a Divorce?

You and your soon-to-be former spouse are not the only ones going through something when you are negotiating a divorce. Your children are feeling this too, even if they are not completely aware of what is going on. You need to take the time to comfort them and address their concerns and feelings. This is going to be an adjustment, but you can make everything easier for them to accept if you communicate with them. Some of this advice from our Morris County, NJ divorce lawyers might be able to help.

How Should I Answer My Children’s Questions About Divorce?

Your kids are going to have questions about what is happening. We recommend answering honestly and directly. Children pick up on more than we expect them to, and it would not be surprising if they see through any lies or obfuscation. So if they ask you something, be as honest as possible. Let them know how routines and schedules might change due to visitation schedules and other factors. Reassure them that everything is going to be fine.

Most of all, make sure that they know that none of this is their fault. Children, especially younger ones, can have an egocentric view of the world, and that can make them think that their own actions or behaviors are to blame for your divorce. No child should have to wrestle with these emotions and feelings of guilt, so do everything that you can to comfort your children.

Is There Anything I Should Not Do in Front of My Children?

There are also some things that you should avoid doing if you want to keep your children in their best spirits. You should not:

Talk badly about your spouse: You probably have some frustrations with your spouse or ex-spouse. Talking about them in front of your children is never a good idea. They may feel pressured to agree or go along with this, and that can just enhance any feelings of guilt they are already experiencing.

Use a child as a messenger: Even if you do not want to talk to your ex, do not put your child in the middle of things by making them relay messages or grievances. This is not good for anyone. Be an adult and pick up the phone.

Ignore your own mental health needs: Your kids are going to be your top priority, but do not forget about yourself. You are going through something as well. Make sure that you are also making your own mental health a priority when you can.

Get Help From Our Divorce Lawyers

If you are getting a divorce, you should have legal representation. Contact Townsend, Tomaio & Newmark to schedule a consultation. Let us take care of the paperwork. You focus on your family and help everyone get through this difficult time together.