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Tips for a Successful Mediated Divorce | What to Know

Many couples get divorced through the process of mediation because a mediated divorce is often faster and less expensive than other methods of divorce. That being said, the process can still be stressful. Read on to learn some tips that may help you have a successful mediation:

Pick the Right Mediator

The process of mediation involves a couple working through the matters of their divorce with the help of a neutral third party. This third party is known as a mediator. Choosing the right mediator for you and your spouse can make a large difference in the process. 

Do Your Research

Before going into the process, it is important to do as much learning as you can about the issues you are going to discuss. This can include but is not limited to the following:

  • Your rights and responsibilities
  • How child support is calculated in New Jersey
  • Basic understanding of your financial documents

Be Honest

The process of mediation works best when spouses are honest with themselves, each other, and their mediator. If you want a mediator to touch on certain topics or review the agreements, it is important to say so.

Control Your Emotions

Divorce is an emotional process. This can be true for couples ending their marriage on good terms. A divorce is a big change. Additionally, many couples disagree when it comes to sensitive topics like child custody. During the mediation process, it is common for emotions to run high, but it is important that you remain collected. Coping mechanisms are different for everyone, but it may help to take deep breaths and count to five before reacting to something upsetting. Additionally, it is important to know that if you begin to feel overwhelmed at any time, it is okay to simply take a break and clear your head before resuming. 

Be Open-Minded

While it is important to know what you want when entering divorce proceedings, it is also good to keep an open mind. Mediation is about compromise and finding creative solutions. This means things may not go 100% your way. It is important to be prepared for this and you must be willing to work through difficult discussions with your spouse and mediator. Part of mediation is allowing healthy discussions to brainstorm creative ways to settle your marital issues.

If you have any questions or concerns about mediated divorce, contact our firm today. We are here to advocate for you and walk you through the process every step of the way.


If you need an experienced legal team to guide you through your divorce, contact Townsend, Tomaio & Newmark L.L.C today.