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The Dos and Don’ts of Co-Parenting in New Jersey

While a divorce can be one of the most emotionally tolling events in a couple’s life, it can also have significant effects on the children involved. Because of this, it is critical to obtain healthy co-parenting habits. Reach out to our firm today to speak with our skilled Morris County NJ child custody attorneys about the dos and don’ts of co-parenting.

What are the dos?

In order to foster a healthy co-parenting relationship with your former spouse, you will want to keep in mind the various helpful ways that you can do this. Some of the most effective ways to accomplish this include:

  • Construct an affirmative plan that puts aside discrepancies you may have. The emphasis should be on satisfying the needs of the children you are co-parenting.
  • Choose how you will handle visitation, holidays, and events.
  • Develop behavioral strategies for raising your children that you will each follow. It is critical to understand that you will want your children to have consistency in their lives, no matter which parent they are with. This includes bedtimes, phone privileges, etc.
  • Recognize that a child will generally test a situation and abuse boundaries. Be ready and stay strong.
  • Set the positions of extended family members.
  • Create lines of open communication regarding all elements of your child’s development. This includes being able to compare notes on a situation before selecting a punishment.
  • Even though it can be emotionally challenging, you and your co-parent need to choose to keep each other informed about changes in your life circumstances. The child should never be your direct source of information.
  • Commit yourself to have emotional integrity.

What are the don’ts?

On the other hand, you will want to understand the measures to avoid when co-parenting with your former spouse. These will typically include the following:

  • Damaging your child’s relationship with your former spouse.
  • Permitting your child to speak poorly about the other parent.
  • Using your child as a tool to get back at or harm your former spouse.
  • Using your child to obtain information or to manipulate and/or control your former spouse.
  • Transfering hurt feelings and/or frustrations toward your former spouse onto your child.
  • Forcing your child to pick a side when there is a dispute with scheduling.
  • Turning the strain on your child.
  • Relying too much on your child for friendship or support because you are going through a divorce.
  • Become so emotionally dependent that your child starts to feel guilty if they put time into connections with others. You would not want to find out they turned down social outings because they were scared you would be incapable of having alone time.


At Townsend, Tomaio & Newmark, LLC, our seasoned divorce and family law attorneys ensure that through the process of resolving your family matter, you feel empowered, not overwhelmed. Providing unwavering support, undivided attention, and unflinching advocacy, our team invests in your cause, working tirelessly to pave your path toward a brighter tomorrow. If you need an experienced legal team to guide you through your divorce, contact Townsend, Tomaio & Newmark L.L.C today.